Blog Archives
When your fanny is not your bottom…
Take it from Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx.
You don’t want to be live on-air in Britain and make that rookie mistake of calling your fanny your bottom. Even if you think “fanny” sounds like a Britishism – beware. It’s not. They don’t call fanny packs “fanny packs.” You’ll be hard-pressed to find any British natives named Fanny, not even in elderly care facilities. They don’t even use the grammar rule “Please excuse my dear Aunt Fanny.”
Read the story in all of its hilarious glory!
Quick translation guide
This graphic has been making the rounds online … some of it is true, some of it is pure bollocks. Guess which ones are which!
Sweet breads!
Does this make me look fat?
Have you heard of breading? The Daily Mail reported on it yesterday and I have to say it might be the best thing I’ve ever seen. I know it’s quickly becoming a global phenomenon and is not exclusively British, but I couldn’t resist.
As an aside, I’m sure Brits would use a nice farmhouse loaf for this kind of thing.
Guide to understanding the British
If you know a Brit, this handy dandy Anglo translation guide might come in handy (and uh, be dandy). Not sure where this originated, but I love it.
The cute-ification of things
Aww ... look at the little bitty pressie!
Brits like to cute-ify their words. Cute-ify, you ask? Well, you know, make cuter. Cuten them up. I know, I know, “cute” is a distinctly American word. But it’s the only word that seems appropriate for the random act of adding an “i-e” to words – not in the presence of babies or small children but in everyday life amongst grown-ups. Americans don’t do this. If we’re talking about a present, we call it a present. We don’t call it a “pressie.”
Here are some other examples:
Cardigan = Cardi
Lipstick = Lippie
Chocolate = Choccie (pronounced chock-ie)
Biscuit = Biccie (pronounced bick-ie)
Sweets = Sweetie
Postman = Postie
Swimming costume = Cozzie (I just learned this one, thanks to Tori and Marti – hey, even you both cute-ified your names …)
And there are dozens more like this. Can you think of any others?
The Wally vs. Waldo debate
Grandma recently sent our son a book that brought back happy memories from my childhood:
But it prompted an obvious question from this American: Who’s Wally and what have you done with Waldo?
Is he part of a witness relocation program and if so, why didn’t they ditch that red and white striped shirt, woolly hat and glasses? Dead giveaway.
Just asking.
Well, after doing a bit of online research, I’ve discovered that Where’s Waldo was actually created by a British illustrator Martin Handford. So let it be known that Where’s Waldo‘s real name is Wally, he is British and he went missing in the UK long before he ever was stateside.
In my research, I’ve also discovered that he has other alter egos. He is Charlie in France, Walter in Germany, Holger in Denmark, Valli in Iceland, Willy in Norway and Hetti in Sri Lanka & Goa. He’s also better known as Waldo in Canada and Japan, if you were wondering.
Yeah, I think we will all sleep better tonight.
When your swimsuit is a costume …
I have quite a few favorite British words and expressions. Quite. A. Few. But one of my all-time favorites is “swimming costume.”
Particularly when my husband (or any man) speaks of wearing their swimming costume.
Because although they might be thinking of this:
I’m thinking this:
As a side note to my British readers: In the US, costumes are only used when preceded by the word “Halloween.” Swimming costumes are called swimsuits or bathing suits or The Worst Torture Known to Womankind, depending on who you speak to. But never “costume,” unless you are trying to be funny (in which case, just strut down the beach wearing Borat’s mankini and call it a day).
And so, as this week comes to a close and the glorious weekend begins, throw on your swimsuit (or costume) and enjoy the last weekend of August. Dive in …. I’ll see you back here on Monday!
"Diving Board" by Jena Ardell
Magnum arrives in the U.S.
I laughed out loud the first time I saw this Magnum commercial starring The OC‘s Rachel Bilson. For so many reasons. Let me count the ways.
- I love that “Do Not Attempt” pops up on the screen when she’s stepping over cars barefoot through traffic.
- I love the campy cop and ice cream truck driver and all of that magician’s fog that streams out of the truck when he opens the back.
- And of course, I love that Magnum Ice Cream is arriving in the US market, competing for an audience that already associates Magnum with a brand of extra-large condoms, a firearm and, of course, Tom Selleck of yesteryear.
The combination is just YouTube gold.
P.S. I should add that we did buy a box — okay, two boxes, oink, oink — of Magnum Ice Cream when we saw it at the grocery store and Rachel Bilson is not acting. The Double Caramel is well worth climbing cars in a sundress for.
Sir Clement Freud and the funniest joke ever told
A little brevity is way overdue so I humbly submit Sir Clement Freud‘s classic British delivery of what has been hailed as the funniest joke ever told. Most Brits have probably heard this one by now but for Americans, I invite you to curl up with a cup of tea and have a listen.
BRITRISH.COM 