Monthly Archives: September 2011
X-tatic
For years, I’ve been hearing about The X-Factor from my British friends.
But despite America’s clearly insatiable hunger for a) reality-based singing shows and b) caustic British judges, America has been an X-Factor desert.
Until tonight!
It is with bated breath that I count down the hours to the series premiere of the American version of The X-Factor and the return of Simon Cowell to the telly.
This winning TV formula, which originated in the UK seven years ago, has already spread to over 30 countries and has finally landed on our shores.
I am looking forward to the smorgasbord of talent and trash, as they comb the country in search of that one individual or band with the so-called X-Factor. The addition of Paula Abdul as a judge is just icing on the cake.
Here’s a sneak peek to whet your appetite.
Hen night
Last weekend, a good friend of mine and her fiance got married in a beautiful ceremony in South Lake Tahoe.
In classic tradition, on Friday night, she had a bachelorette party or what Brits would call a “hen night.”
To protect the innocent, I'm going with this generic shot from "Bridesmaids."
I’ve been searching online to find something about the origins of “hen night” and could only come up with a few theories – but the most popular has been that it originated in Scotland where women are termed “hens.”
I actually prefer the British term. Bachelorette party just has a sordid connotation, don’t you think? It just sounds like it would have to involve a bow-tied Chippendale leaping out of a cake or worse. I also think that if American guys can have a stag party, then we should also be given a term with a female animal equivalent. But what? Doe party, perhaps? Sow night? Bitch ‘do?
Yeah, I’ll pass and stick with a free-range hen. Cluck. Cluck.
Make tea not war
About two years ago, I bought this for my tea-loving husband:
Great shirt, great sentiment.
Since then, the Plain Lazy brand has gotten less lazy and expanded its line to include hoodies, posters, mugs, duvet covers and buttons bearing the “Make Tea Not War” mantra. Plus, the UK-based company delivers to the US without a whinge.
I now have my eye on their novelty self-stirring mug. Behold!
The Color of Money
British currency is a beautiful thing. Not only can it buy you a delicious cup of tea and an iced bun when you’re hungry for elevenses, but it is actually a rather colorful, lovely specimen in and of itself.
Maybe only those of us who have grown up with the dull and dreary greenback can appreciate the vibrancy of a British banknote. I’m fascinated that folks like Charles Darwin, Adam Smith and even a lively hummingbird have cameos on some of the notes (Charles Dickens, Florence Nightingale and William Shakespeare have also appeared on the notes, before the notes were taken out of circulation and replaced with another line-up). I don’t even mind Queen Elizabeth’s mug on the front – she looks so classically royal and Mona Lisa-esque. And who doesn’t love the delicious spectrum of colors including tangerine, lavender and lime.
My sister-in-law Liz has pointed out another use for such color, beyond beauty. The identifiable color scheme makes it easy to see, at a quick glance, how much you’ve got. Brits never make the mistake of thinking a 5 pound note is actually a 20 pound note. How many times have we all made the mistake of thinking we were carrying more money than we were, only to discover after close inspection, that we had three one-dollar bills? Not even enough for said cup of tea and iced bun.
Makeover and color code your money, Americans. That’s just good dollars and sense.
Vacation envy
Kynance Cove in Cornwall is a popular spot for British holidaymakers. Photo credit: David Wogan/Robert Harding World Imagery/Getty Images
Oh, to vacation like a Brit! While most Americans are slaving away each working day, living for an average of 13 miserly days of paid time off each year, British workers are living the life of Riley, basking in a statutory minimum of 28 vacation days and eight public holidays a year, according to CNBC. (I’m not sure who this Riley guy was, but he certainly wasn’t American … wait, stop the presses! According to Wikipedia, Riley WAS American. Who knew?).
Twenty-eight vacation days! More than an entire month! I remember fondly having 20 vacation days back when I was working in London and I remember wishing for more. For more! Oh, the greed! And if you got sick, you took a sick day. No, you didn’t have to use a vacation day for it. No, you didn’t have to cough up a lung on the phone to prove you were really sick. You just stayed home and you got paid for doing so.
These days I have 13 vacation days, about two weeks of sick leave and 11 public holidays, which is considered a fair amount. By all American accounts, it’s nothing to balk at, but balking I do. Particularly when I take stock of the amount of vacation that my British friends get. I see their Facebook statuses. I know the fun and frivolity that they enjoy by virtue of being employed British folk.
They work hard and play hard and take time to stop and smell the roses along the way – and those roses might be in the south of France or off the coast of Africa or somewhere in between. It’s a good lesson for us all.
When you don’t want to supersize …
Who needs this much toilet paper?
My British friend Helen officially moved stateside last weekend to live the so-called American dream.
As it turns out, the first thing that she’s noticed has been the overabundance of super-sized American products and dearth of everyday items in sensible quantities. She doesn’t want to buy six or 12 eggs. She wants four. (Who knew that British grocers sold eggs in four-packs?) She doesn’t want nine rolls of loo roll (translation: toilet paper). She wants two. She doesn’t want 20 rolls of paper towels to store in a closet or pack away in a garage. She doesn’t care if it’s cheaper in bulk. She only wants what she needs. No more, no less.
I love the Britishness of this sensibility.
And I understand it. I often forget this way of thinking, living here for as long as we have. But I love the size of a Soreen loaf. I love single packs of tissues and fruit that is not bagged or bundled together. I love small packs of batteries and buying detergent that won’t give me a hernia when I carry it into the house. It’s the antithesis of everything that Costco and Sam’s Club stand for and there’s something refreshing about it.
Welcome to the U.S., Helen. Don’t ever change.
The cure for the mid-morning slump
Picture it. It’s 11 a.m. The coffee is wearing off. It’s too early for lunch but you want a little something. What to do? Well, meet one of Britain’s most perfect solutions: Elevenses (pronounced: Eleven-zees)!
Ah, tea and biscuits! A sight for sore eyes! I'm not sure what kind of biscuits these are. Lemon poppyseed, perhaps?
Elevenses is a traditional little mid-morning snack, complete with tea and often something sweet like a biscuit (translation: cookie), iced bun or slice of cake. Just a little something to get you over the hump until lunchtime. It’s a little respite that the Brits take seriously.
Apparently, Winnie the Pooh enjoyed some honey on bread and condensed milk for elevenses and Hobbits eat elevenses to break up the time between their second breakfast and lunch.
What is your favorite thing to eat for elevenses?
What? No Royale with Cheese?
You might have heard the news last week that McDonald’s in the UK will now display calorie counts on their menu items.
Well, it kind of begs the question: What’s McDonald’s in the UK like?
I should begin by saying that I am no fan of the chain but I am inherently fascinated by the way that McDonald’s gears its menu to different locales.
In Hawaii, they serve ramen noodles (known as “saimin”) and Spam musubi (basically a wedge of rice with Spam on top). In India, they serve a veggie burger called a McAloo Tikki. And who could forget that classic scene in Pulp Fiction, when John Travolta’s character explains to Samuel L. Jackson’s character that a Quarter Pounder in France is called a Royale with Cheese?
Well, in England, a Quarter Pounder is a Quarter Pounder. A Big Mac is a Big Mac. And French fries are called French fries, not chips, which is kind of puzzling.
Actually, it’s pretty disappointing how similar their menu is to ours. Yes, they do have a little regional flair in their breakfast menu – namely, a traditional Bacon Roll made with British bacon, Heinz tomato sauce or brown sauce. And they have something called a Chicken Legend, which is basically our crispy chicken sandwich with lettuce, mayo or tomato salsa on a soft, white bakehouse roll. For dessert, they have a Belgian Bliss Brownie, made from real Belgian chocolate. I’ll give them 5/10 for originality.
Lastly, they don’t have a dollar menu or a pound menu. They have a “Saver” Menu. I’m thinking that pounds are the last thing people want to think about at McDonald’s … despite the fact that calories are now listed on their menu.
How to dress your dog like a Brit
Last week, I posted “How to dress your kids like Londoners” and before the metaphorical ink was dry, I could almost immediately hear the united sighs and bellows of American dogs everywhere, as if to say, “But what about us?”
In an effort of fairness, I’m happily submitting today’s post.
I haven’t put together a list of flat caps (or, heaven forbid, tiaras) or Sherlock Holmes costumes for dogs because I do think that a true British dog is far too noble and dignified for such things (American dogs, well, that’s a dog of a different color …).
Below is a collection of items that will bring out the British in your dog (regardless of whether he’s really a French poodle or an Irish setter).
Shown above, beginning to the right of the British bulldog puppy and moving clockwise: Union Jack Collar by Mascot, Furnam & Muttson Squeaky Dog Toy and British Flag Dog Bed by Jonathan Adler.
Have a fabulous weekend! Enjoy these last dog days of summer before fall sets in.
4 ingredients for a great cuppa
Every Brit has a secret to a great cuppa. After all, we’re talking about a nation of tea drinkers. Our family relies on these four ingredients: 1. Breville One-Touch Tea Maker, a real luxury but it is programmable so you can wake up to freshly brewed tea. 2. Chicken-Shaped Tea Cosy keeps the teapot warm. 3. Crate and Barrel Tea Bag Squeezer helps get every last drop from the tea bag. 4. Twinings Everyday Teabags makes a tasty brew of classic “builder’s tea.”
BRITRISH.COM 