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The cure for the mid-morning slump
Picture it. It’s 11 a.m. The coffee is wearing off. It’s too early for lunch but you want a little something. What to do? Well, meet one of Britain’s most perfect solutions: Elevenses (pronounced: Eleven-zees)!
Ah, tea and biscuits! A sight for sore eyes! I'm not sure what kind of biscuits these are. Lemon poppyseed, perhaps?
Elevenses is a traditional little mid-morning snack, complete with tea and often something sweet like a biscuit (translation: cookie), iced bun or slice of cake. Just a little something to get you over the hump until lunchtime. It’s a little respite that the Brits take seriously.
Apparently, Winnie the Pooh enjoyed some honey on bread and condensed milk for elevenses and Hobbits eat elevenses to break up the time between their second breakfast and lunch.
What is your favorite thing to eat for elevenses?
What? No Royale with Cheese?
You might have heard the news last week that McDonald’s in the UK will now display calorie counts on their menu items.
Well, it kind of begs the question: What’s McDonald’s in the UK like?
I should begin by saying that I am no fan of the chain but I am inherently fascinated by the way that McDonald’s gears its menu to different locales.
In Hawaii, they serve ramen noodles (known as “saimin”) and Spam musubi (basically a wedge of rice with Spam on top). In India, they serve a veggie burger called a McAloo Tikki. And who could forget that classic scene in Pulp Fiction, when John Travolta’s character explains to Samuel L. Jackson’s character that a Quarter Pounder in France is called a Royale with Cheese?
Well, in England, a Quarter Pounder is a Quarter Pounder. A Big Mac is a Big Mac. And French fries are called French fries, not chips, which is kind of puzzling.
Actually, it’s pretty disappointing how similar their menu is to ours. Yes, they do have a little regional flair in their breakfast menu – namely, a traditional Bacon Roll made with British bacon, Heinz tomato sauce or brown sauce. And they have something called a Chicken Legend, which is basically our crispy chicken sandwich with lettuce, mayo or tomato salsa on a soft, white bakehouse roll. For dessert, they have a Belgian Bliss Brownie, made from real Belgian chocolate. I’ll give them 5/10 for originality.
Lastly, they don’t have a dollar menu or a pound menu. They have a “Saver” Menu. I’m thinking that pounds are the last thing people want to think about at McDonald’s … despite the fact that calories are now listed on their menu.
Brits are full of beans
For most Americans, Heinz is synonymous with ketchup.
But in the UK, well, “Beanz Meanz Heinz” (as their ad slogan goes).
Brits simply can’t live without Heinz baked beans. It’s an icon. It’s a staple. And it’s not just a good alternative to homemade beans. It trumps it every time.
Baked beans are always included on the plate of the quintessential full English breakfast (which includes fried eggs, sausage, bacon, fried bread or buttered toast, grilled tomato, sauteed mushrooms and sausage made of pig’s blood AKA black pudding). It livens up any snack of cheese on toast (another simple British classic). It’s also a very common topping for jacket potatoes (translation: baked potatoes).
Personally, I’m not a fan of American baked beans in any context. Not camping, not at a barbecue and certainly not as an accompaniment to hot dogs (and don’t even mention pork and beans to me, unless you want to see me gag).
Yet there is a place in my heart for Heinz baked beans and I’m definitely not the only one. Thankfully, it is available at any Cost Plus World Market in the US.
The search for the ultimate scotch egg
The cause of many a coronary: The unassuming scotch egg. Photo credit: David Sillitoe/Guardian
Leave it to the Brits to come up with something as creatively fatty as the Scotch egg.
You start with a hard boiled egg. Then envelop it in sausage meat. Then roll it in breadcrumbs and lastly deep fry the whole thing. I think of it as the UK’s turducken but it is a British picnic delicacy. The kind of thing that Ratty would have packed in a picnic hamper in “Wind in the Willows,” along with a selection of pork pies and sausage rolls.
The London department store Fortnum & Mason claims to have invented it over 200 years ago. But these days, you generally find scotch eggs in the refrigerated section of a soulless service station or supermarket, wrapped in cellophane, looking more like a paperweight than something you would actually eat, much less enjoy cold.
I should add that the only thing worst than eating a service station scotch egg is watching someone eating a service station scotch egg or, worst yet, being trapped in a car watching someone eating a service station scotch egg. It’s the stuff that Dante’s ninth ring of hell was made of.
In its natural state, piping hot out of the fryer served with a pint and a view of the river, I think it’s probably glorious. Those visiting The Ship in Wandsworth on Sept. 20 will find out first hand when the pub hosts its first ever scotch egg challenge. Anyone is invited to submit their winning egg for a chance at the title of, well, the ultimate scotch egg and all the bragging rights that accompany it. A panel of judges will determine the winner. For more information, visit The Ship’s website or follow along on Twitter using hashtag #ScotchEggChallenge.
How to eat like a millionaire
Wanna feel like a million bucks (or pounds, depending on your currency)? Then get in the kitchen and bake this:
* Enter carol of angels *
Okay, so maybe the photo doesn’t show it for the general awesomeness that it is and it looks a lot like an ordinary peanut butter square, but make no mistake. This is Millionaire’s Shortbread, a rich confection that layers dark chocolate atop gooey caramel spread over buttery shortbread. A Twix Bar-like dessert done on a big scale. I’m not sure where this gorgeous creature got its name but it is a British classic and rightly so.
Matthew made a batch last night (I am NOT the baker in our house and would never attempt such a complex dessert), based on Roxanne’s Millionaire’s Shortbread recipe from Nigella Lawson’s How to Be a Domestic Goddess cookbook. It tastes like a million calories but in a good way.
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
1 2/3 cups unsalted butter
1 14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk
4 tablespoons light corn syrup
12 oz. bittersweet chocolate
1 9-inch square pan or similar, greased and the bottom lined with parchment or wax paper
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F.
Put the flour and sugar into a bowl and rub in 12 tablespoons of the butter, clumping the dough together to form a ball. Press this sandy shortbread mixture into the tin and smooth it either with you hands or a spatula. Prick it with a fork and cook for 5 minutes, then lower the oven to 300 degrees F, and cook it for a further 30-40 minutes until it is pale golden and no longer doughy. Let it cool in the tin.
Melt the remaining butter in the microwave (in a large microwavable bowl) for 2-3 minutes, then add the condensed milk and golden syrup. Whisk the mixture well until the butter is thoroughly incorporated. Heat for 6-7 minutes until it is boiling, stirring thoroughly every minute. As a microwave novice, I found this bit difficult and had to watch that I didn’t burn the toffee mixture (I did once), which is why I caution you to check and stir every minute. It’s ready when it’s thickened and turned a light golden brown. Pour this molten toffee evenly over the cooled shortbread and leave it to set.
Break the chocolate into pieces and melt it in a bowl in a microwave. Pour and spread evenly over the fudge mixture (the less you touch it, the shinier it will be) and leave it to cool. Once set, cut the caramel shortbread into pieces. The squares can be stored in the fridge to keep them firm, though if it’s winter that shouldn’t be necessary.
Makes about 24.
Popcorn wars
Sweet or salted? That’s the question.
Go to any cinema (translation: movie theater) in the UK and you’ll inevitably encounter the two opposing popcorn types: Sweet (which is similar to Kettle Corn) and salted (which is like our regular popcorn, minus the butter). Butter, at least the last time I went to the cinema in the UK, was not a big factor in the popcorn wars and maybe things have changed since then.
Personally, I’m all about the sweet. It’s quite refreshing these days when I spot a theater in the US that serves Kettle Corn as an alternative to the hot buttered sodium fest (not that that’s a bad thing). It’s still too few and far between.
So are you on Team Sweet or Team Salted?
BRITRISH.COM 