Category Archives: Humor
London Underground gone wild
Photo credit: I know this great little place in London …
Have you heard about this? Some Londoners are having a laugh covering over the usual London Underground signs with something a little more fun. Check out a few more on Stickers on the Central Line.
NPR covered the story. Have a listen!
The art of skipping rope
My mental image of a girl skipping rope
These days, my ears are accustomed to British English. There aren’t too many expressions that I haven’t heard. But this weekend, well, I discovered a new one:
Skipping rope is the British equivalent to jump rope.
Yes, I laughed when I heard it. Jump rope just seems practical, no nonsense. It’s the kind of manly exercise that Arnold Schwartzenegger does in a gym, quickly shedding pounds. Skipping rope just sounds downright whimsical. The kind of pastime that cannot be done without bobby socks, pigtails, a kitten and maybe a bike with a bell and a basket in the background.
Customer reviews of Veet
Now, I would normally not read reviews of Veet for Men hair removal gel creme on Amazon.co.uk, but this little nugget of comedy gold did make it into my Facebook stream, and I will admit that I was crying with laughter when I stumbled upon it and began reading.
It appears that many Brits (or at least one British comedy writer using various guises) have used Veet where Veet was not intended.
NSFW. Read on….
When your car breaks down …
I felt like Chris Pine on the freeway. Without that gross sweat stain.
This week, on my way home from work, my car suddenly stopped accelerating on the freeway. I was pressing on the gas, and it just slowly lost steam. 55-50-45-40 and so on, as I made my way to the right hand side of the road, onto a graveled hard shoulder. I parked it and when I tried to start it up again, it wouldn’t budge.
I was stuck.
I called AAA and they said they’d send a tow truck. I called my husband and he was ready to drive over and pick me up, but as it turns out, you have to wait with your car in order for the tow truck to pick up the car, and so I was indeed stuck there indefinitely.
“Aren’t you supposed to get out of the car in this situation?” he asked.
I really didn’t want to. The highway was bustling with activity. The last thing I wanted to do was attract the unwanted attention of some drive-by trucker psycho killers. I’ve seen the movies.
But while I waited, I did call the California Highway Patrol, just to get a straight answer. Was I safe sitting in the car (well, aside from possibly drowning in my own sweat)? The answer I got was that I would be fine, if I felt safe sitting there. The operator just recommended that I buckle my seat belt. A CHP officer later stopped by to make sure I was okay and again concurred that I would be okay where I was.
As it turns out, in the UK, you really are advised to get out of the car and to get all of your passengers out of your car if your car breaks down on the motorway. Of course, it also advises staying far out of the way of traffic and away from the front of your car. One article suggests that only if you’re in danger should you get back in your car. Another article suggests that you should only get back in your car if a nice cup of hot tea and a scone is awaiting inside.
Okay, maybe I made that last part up.
AAA arrived an hour and 20 minutes after my call, and I’ve never been happier to see a tow truck.
And for the gearheads in the room who were wondering what exactly was wrong with the car? A faulty fuel pump was to blame.
When your fanny is not your bottom…
Take it from Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx.
You don’t want to be live on-air in Britain and make that rookie mistake of calling your fanny your bottom. Even if you think “fanny” sounds like a Britishism – beware. It’s not. They don’t call fanny packs “fanny packs.” You’ll be hard-pressed to find any British natives named Fanny, not even in elderly care facilities. They don’t even use the grammar rule “Please excuse my dear Aunt Fanny.”
Read the story in all of its hilarious glory!
Wizards use the London Tube, too
I kind of love this.
For the uninitiated, oyster cards are travel cards for the London Tube and there is a little chip in them so you can just tap them over the card reader instead of sliding your card through. Or indeed, attach them to a wand and tap away!
Thanks, Lise, for posting this!
Quick translation guide
This graphic has been making the rounds online … some of it is true, some of it is pure bollocks. Guess which ones are which!
The missing piece of the puzzle
Last night, a tiny puzzle piece got pushed underneath one of our very heavy bookcases.
What could we do?
Well, we tried using paper since it was thin enough to slide under there but it wasn’t sturdy enough to push the piece out. Then we tried the vacuum. It vacuumed up a lot of dust – no puzzle piece. Lastly, my husband asked me to bring a kitchen knife.
Don't let the knifeyness confuse you. This is not a kitchen knife.
“You mean a steak knife?” I asked.
“No, you know, a kitchen knife,” he answered.
And so I immediately looked to the big butcher block of knives and grabbed for the longest ginsu wannabe knife that we have.
“I’ve got a really long knife we could try,” I announced.
“No, not a butcher knife … you know, a food knife.”
“What are you talking about? A food knife? WTH is a food knife? Aren’t all knives food knives?!”
American English vs. British English in one picture
A big thanks to @atlanticist for directing me to this:
BRITRISH.COM 