In case you were ever wondering what you were missing by NOT being a posh mum in North London’s borough of Highgate, there is a Twitter account, @HighgateMums, that pulls the lid off of the conversation amongst the ladies who brunch.

Here are just a few gems:

* “Sweetheart, I don’t blame the Art teacher for scolding you. This piece is devastatingly lacklustre.”
* “My girl’s in the lowest tier, but I’m convinced she’s being used to be an aspirational focus for her less-abled classmates.”
* “Darling, don’t scrape your chair. It makes your presence over-known.”
* “School hours are designed for the convenience of the teachers and pupils and frankly nobody else. Nobody else AT ALL.”
* “Her first words were ‘shoes’ and ‘brioche’.”
* “I know she’s mine, but she’s an appalling painter. Her use of greens is one of the few saving graces.”

SMH. Amazing.