When I heard that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were separating after 10 years of marriage, I can’t say that it come as a huge surprise. And yet Gwyneth’s quintessentially Britishness has been so rooted to her marriage to Chris that the idea that that they are “consciously uncoupling” is kind of unsettling.

If there’s anything that I find endearing about her, it is her pseudo-British quality. That properness of her that makes most people haters. I like the fact that she married an Exeter boy and the idea that she became an anglophile and raised her family in England. She is invariably my favorite non-British British person and I’m admittedly a little sad that she could be shacked up in the near future with a non-Brit and unwind herself from the British scene altogether.

Unless she ends up with Robert Downey Jr. because they are just ridiculously adorable together (which is unlikely since he is still married and good for him! Keep that going!) then I don’t wanna know. Certainly, don’t tell me she’s going to Chateau Marmont with anyone on Lindsay Lohan’s sex list. Please.

If you’re looking for me, I’ll be gorging myself on her dad’s recipe for pancakes (which I think are my favorite homemade pancake recipe of all time) with extra maple syrup and mourning the loss.